The Stillness of Water

Last Sunday I began the self nurturing part of my journey of being a woman. The purpose…to allow myself to be taken care of by taking care of myself and to freely give love by first loving myself. I gave myself permission to take a bath. Not just any bath. A tranquility bath. The divine opportunity to allow myself to be still, listen to my body, listen to my soul. The divine opportunity to just be.

I had not done this previously because it was inconceivable to me to take a bath. Why would I run clean, fresh water; get in and lather myself with scented body wash only to rinse myself off with lavender or coconut scented dirt? Made no sense to me. And no, I was not going to shower either before or after so that I would feel clean.

What’s funny is that towards the end of my bath, my daughter had to use the bathroom and she was directed by my mom not to disturb me. So I hear her ask, what’s wrong with mommy, she’s been in there a long time. In that moment, I thought….hmmm…what is wrong with mommy. Well, mommy is always on the go between my children, family, work, school, and everything else in between that I don’t give myself the time to rest or be still until my body shuts down from sickness or being tired. So to shift me from this behavior, I have set the intention to take a bath once a week. My time with self. My time with God.

Feeling the stillness of the water, I realized that in order to receive what God has for me, I have to release some things. Open my hands and stretch my arms wide and simply let go. And to know specifically what I need to release, I had to sit in my own dirt. I had to let the awareness come forth, feel it and not run from it. I now know I don’t like not taking time for myself, I don’t like feeling icky from all the toxins I have let build up on and in me, and I no longer desire to hold to the beliefs that have not served me. All of this and more I release and open myself to receive love, which in the end is all there is.